First Class Insults

This was too good not to pass along.  No, I haven’t run it past Snopes; it really doesn’t matter to me if the quotes were ever truly uttered by those they’re attributed to… they’re still worth pondering.  Thanks David, for sharing!

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about” — Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
— Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
— William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
— Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” — Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” — Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” — Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. — Oscar Wilde

“I enclose two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.”
— George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.” — Winston Churchill, in response.

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” — John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” — Irvin S. Cobb

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”  — Billy Wilder

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”  — Samuel Johnson

“He had delusions of adequacy.” — Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” — Jack E. Leonard

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” — Thomas Brackett Reed

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” — Charles Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” — Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” — Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” — Mae West

5 thoughts on “First Class Insults

  1. Several of the quotes reminded me of some of the folks who contribute to the Oak Ridger Message Board.

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