{"id":210,"date":"2006-11-20T14:11:42","date_gmt":"2006-11-20T18:11:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/?p=210"},"modified":"2006-11-20T14:20:18","modified_gmt":"2006-11-20T18:20:18","slug":"lol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/?p=210","title":{"rendered":"LOL!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Out of the mouths of babes and children come the words to make us laugh away the gloom:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom  breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: &#8220;Mom, Is one for hot  and one for cold milk?&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how  old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn&#8217;t remember any more.  Melanie said, &#8220;If you don&#8217;t remember you look  in the back of your panties. Mine say <\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>five to six<\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>.&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his  Mom goodnight. &#8220;I love you so much, that when you die I&#8217;m going to bury you  outside my bedroom window.&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>BRITTANY<\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> (age 4) had an earache and wanted a  painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her  frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she&#8217;d have to open it  for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: &#8220;How does it know it&#8217;s  me?&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice  when she got the hiccups. &#8220;Please don&#8217;t give me this juice again,&#8221; she said, &#8220;It  makes my teeth cough.&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the  bathroom scale and asked: &#8220;How much do I cost?&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a  young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his  eyes off them, he asked his dad: &#8220;Why is he whispering in her mouth?&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>CLINTON<\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> (age 5) was in his bedroom looking  worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, &#8220;I don&#8217;t know  what&#8217;ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>JAMES (age 4) was listening to a  Bible story. His dad read: &#8220;The man named <\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>Lot<\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> was warned to take his wife and  flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.&#8221;  Concerned, little James asked: &#8220;What happened to the flea?&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother  when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at  her for a while and then asked, &#8220;Why doesn&#8217;t your skin fit your face?&#8221;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>The Sermon this Mom will never  forget&#8230;. this particular Sunday sermon&#8230; &#8220;Dear Lord,&#8221; the minister began,  with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.  &#8220;Without you, we are but dust.&#8221; He would have continued but at that moment my  very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to  me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font> <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial\"><font>&#8220;Mom, what is butt dust?&#8221;  <\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify\" class=\"MsoNormal\">Thanks for sharing, TS.<\/div>\n<blockquote \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Out of the mouths of babes and children come the words to make us laugh away the gloom: JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: &#8220;Mom, Is one for hot &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/?p=210\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=210"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.citizennetmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}